Have you ever realised that the person with whom you talk the most is your own self !!! Day and night pecking our mind and creating a parallel reality there…We are the protagonist there in our mental movie going inside our head. But the surprising fact is that the villain out there is none other than us. This villain gradually takes over our protagonist by simply infecting our whole mind with verbal venom…..i.e. our self talk ……hour by hour…minute by minute and second by second. Winning the battle lies all in our hands. All you need to do is “ Turn down the volume of your negative inner voice and create a nurturing inner voice to take its place. When you make a mistake, forgive yourself, learn from it, and move on instead of obsessing about it. Equally important, don’t allow anyone else to dwell on your mistakes or shortcomings or to expect perfection from you.” – Beverly Eugel.
All is not bad about negative self talk. In fact, it’s an essential tool to assess the gravity of the situation – the pros and cons. It gives us a clear view of our strengths and weaknesses. It gives us a chance to confront our real self, so that we can upgrade ourselves and overcome our limitations. Similarly being aware of our strengths will also boost our self esteem.
Keeping track of the negative thoughts and how our self talk is affected by that is very important. Once we pour down our negative thoughts on a piece of paper, we will feel much relieved because when we are looking at our thoughts on a piece of paper, we are actually looking at it as an outsider or from an objective point of view. This helps us to assess the thought process impartially and will help us to take suitable steps to deal with it. Judging from this perspective, some thoughts will eventually be proved absurd and getting rid of those will be much easier.
Reversing the way of thinking can help us cope with the situation and help solve the problem. Suppose I need to perform a particular work using a certain technology on which I have never worked before. The immediate reaction will be … ‘O MY GOD!! I CAN NEVER DO THAT!’ But reversing my thought process will help me to accept the situation. I can replace my negative self talk with a more positive note, without altering or denying the situation, like – ‘ YES, I HAVE NEVER WORKED ON THAT TECHNOLOGY, SO IT’S QUITE CHALLENGING TO ME, BUT I CAN TRY MY BEST. PROBABLY I WILL LEARN SOMETHING WHILE WORKING …’
Love has the power to change people. We often claim deep love for others, but pity ourselves. This has to be changed. If you cannot love yourself you are incapable of loving others too!! Accept yourself whole-heartedly. Embrace your imperfections and love the way you are. We never say ill of the person we love. Naturally self love will not allow us to think bad about ourselves. All praise and full of love…a worthy me will come up leaving no space for negative self talk.
Practising gratitude every single moment can fulfil our life with positive vibrations. Just a simple THANK YOU can change our entire perspective towards life. A certain happiness and humility runs through all our being. It broadens our mind and makes us aware that how lucky we are. As we have so many reasons to be grateful throughout the day, we are surely privileged. This new perspective towards life would refrain us from negative self talks.
Meditation helps to calm our mind and reduces the stress and anxiety level resulting in a positive vibration that keeps negativity miles away. Affirmations are not meditation, but a kind of positive self talk which we repeat again and again, day after day. It’s a belief in one’s own worth and the repetition makes the belief go deep rooted into our subconscious mind.